I have the perfect product for you!

There’s a woman who wants to get a breast implant.
She talks to her doctor and he says “I have the perfect product for you! We invented a pump that can be inflated by flapping your upper arms. If you want to deflate when you, say, go running, you can deflate them by pushing a button under your arms”. She said, “Alright, I will get that”.

The surgery was a success, and she recovered from surgery in a few weeks. To test the product out, she went to the bar that night to get the attention of the bartender whom she liked. She walked in, and he smiled and said hello. She ordered a drink, and when he gave it to her, she flapped her arms and inflated her breasts. The bartender had a look of surprise,
and walked to the other side of the bar. He started flapping his thighs and said “Will you look at that! I think we got the same doctor!”.

A sign of growing equality

Visiting Afghanistan for a second time, a war correspondent noted that since the fall of the Taliban, wives who used to walk ten paces behind their husbands were now walking ten paces in front. The journalist asked one of the men if this was a sign of growing equality.

“No”, the man replied. “Land-mines.”

What did you do to get him so fired up?

An attractive lady from Seattle was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down. A local on horseback came along and offered her a ride to the nearest town.

She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was pretty uneventful except that every few minutes the guy would let out a “Whoop” so loud that it would echo from the surrounding hills. When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final “Yahoo” and rode off.

“Hey, what did you do to get him so fired up?” asked the service station attendant.

“Nothing,” shrugged the woman, I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto his saddle horn so I wouldn’t fall off.

“Lady,” the attendant said, “that guy was riding bareback

What else can u leave?

Girl: If we got married, you’ve to stop smoking.
Boy: OK!

Girl: Drinking too.
Boy: OK!

Girl: N going to the night club too.
Boy:- Yes..

Girl:- What else can u leave??
(After Thinking Much…)
.
Boy:- The idea of marrying You

Work with animals all day

on a date I told my new girl friend,
me – “I get to work with animals all day”
She – “How sweet! What do you do?”
me – ā€œIā€™m a butcher.ā€

Strait on your right

A guy was going to Texas and when he went on the train he said, “Ooh my god Texas chairs are really big.”
He went to a bar he asked for a bear and when the bar tender gave him the mug of bear the guy said, “Wow Texas mugs are really big.”
Later he asked the bar tender were is the bathroom and the bar tender said, “Strait on your right.”
But the guy went on his left and when he entered the room he slipped and feel in the swimming pool and said, “Don’t flush! don’t flush!!!”

Consultation Service!

A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the
counter. Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as
belonging to a neighbor of his. The neighbor happened to be a lawyer.

Incensed at the theft, the butcher called up his neighbor
and said, “Hey, if your dog stole a roast from my butcher
shop, would you be liable for the cost of the meat?” The
lawyer replied, “Of course, how much was the roast?”
“$7.98.”

A few days later the butcher received a check in the mail
for $7.98. Attached to it was an invoice that read: Legal
Consultation Service: $150 .

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