One Liner

One Line Funny Jokes

  1. What’s the difference between a bull and a cow?
    bull smiles when you milk it.
  2. What’s the difference between a lady in church and a lady in the bath tub?
    One has hope in her soul,the other has soap in her hole
  3. What is the difference between oral and anal sex?
    Oral sex makes your day and Anal sex makes your whole weak.
  4. What’s the difference between a Man and a Squirrel.
    A squirrel puts his nuts on a rock and then cracks them. A man puts his nuts in a crack and then rocks them.
  5. What’s the difference between a bowling ball and a blonde?
    You can only fit three fingers inside a bowling ball!
  6. What is the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?
    A genealogist looks up your family tree. A gynecologist looks up your family bush.
  7. What’s the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
    A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
  8. What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?
    A zit waits until you’re a teenager before it cums on your face!
  9. What’s the difference between a rabbi and a priest?
    A rabbi cuts them off; A priest sucks them off
  10. What is the difference between erotic and kinky?
    Erotic is using a feather…kinky is using the whole chicken.
  11. What’s the difference between love, true love, and showing off?
    Spit, swallow, and gargle,
  12. What is the difference between snowmen and snow-women?
    A: Snowballs.
  13. What’s the difference between a bandleader and a gynecologist?
    A bandleader fucks his singers and a gynecologist sucks his fingers.
  14. What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
    45 lbs.
  15. What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
    45 minutes
  16. What’s the difference between a g-spot and a golf ball?
    A man will spend 20 minutes looking for a golf ball
  17. What’s the difference between your job and a dead prostitute?
    Your job still sucks!
  18. What’s the difference between a Rottweiler and a poodle?
    If a rottweiler starts humping your leg you let it finish.
  19. What’s the difference between a girl’s track team and a band of Pygmies?
    One is a cunning bunch of sweaty runts…
  20. What’s the difference between a Porsche and a porcupine?
    A porcupine has pricks on the outside
  21. What’s the difference between a goldfish and a mountain goat?
    One mucks around the fountains
  22. What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
    It’s really easy to unscrew a light bulb.
  23. What is the difference between a bachelor and a married man?
    Bachelor comes home, sees what’s in the refrigerator, goes to bed. Married man comes home, sees what’s in the bed, and goes to the refrigerator.
  24. What’s the difference between Microsoft and Apple?
    One’s a fruit, the other is a software company.
  25. Girlfriend: One of my ancestors was actually a king.
    Boyfriend: I never knew you were a descendant
    of King Kong.
  26. Boyfriend: For the last time I am telling you that I didn’t come here to get insulted.
    Girlfriend: Then where else do you usually go?
  27. Boyfriend: Doesn’t this date make you long for another?
    Girlfriend: Yes, but no one else would come.
  28. Boyfriend: Do you thing I am a perfect idiot?.
    Girlfriend: I keep telling you that you are not perfect.
  29. The Dark Side of the Force
    The Dark Side of the Force lies in your shorts, where the sun never shines!
  30. What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
    A: A rumor
  31. A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?”
    And the father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”
  32. Why are hurricanes normally named after women?
    When they come they’re wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them.
  33. What do boobs and toys have in common?
    They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them.
  34. Mostly men lie
    Mostly men lie before the elections, sex and after fishing
  35. What’s a man’s definition of safe sex?
    When his wife is out of town.
  36. What’s the difference between sex and the US Presidential elections?
    In sex, the decision to choose the cunt or the arse hole is a pleasure.
  37. Did you hear about the guy that died from Viagra overdose?
    They couldn’t close his coffin.
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