Archive for the ‘Teacher-Students’ Category

Every job is important in our economy

The teacher in Johnny’s school asked the class what their parents did for a living.

One little girl said her father was a doctor, another said her mother was an engineer.

When it was Little Johnny’s turn, he stood up and said “My mom’s a whore.”

Naturally, after that remark, he got sent off to the principal’s office. Then, 15 minutes later, he returned.

So the teacher asked “Did you tell the principal what you said in class?”

Johnny said, “Yes.”

“Well, what did the principal say?”

“He said that every job is important in our economy, gave me a pocket full of lollies and asked for my phone number …”

Teacher and her 3 boy students

Teacher: “Why did you laugh?”
Boy 1: “I saw a strap of your bra.”
Teacher: “You are punished to stay out of school for one week.”

Boy 2 laughed…
Teacher: “Why did you laugh?”
Boy 2: “I saw your bra straps.”
Teacher: “You are punished to stay out of school for one month.”

Teacher bent down to pickup a chalk. Boy 3 started walking out of the class…
Teacher: “Why are you leaving?”
Boy 3: “I think my school days are over.”

It will give me time to get away

It’s All About Chemistry

Mr. Ronald was a popular science teacher at King David High School because he encouraged his students to experiment on their own. But sometimes, his students took this leeway a little too far.

For example, one day Sammy Singer wanted to make some potassium hydroxide solution and he decided to throw a large lump of potassium into a bucket of water.

Out of the corner of his eye, Mr. Ronald observed what Sammy was about to do and hurried over. After confirming this was what was intended, Mr. Ronald said, “First stir the water in the bucket for five minutes before adding the potassium.”

“Why?” asked Sammy

“Well,” replied Mr. Ronald, “It will give me time to get away!”

To hold my glasses!

Teacher: What makes you see?
Bobby jack: My eyes, my nose and my ears.
Teacher: True for the eyes but why for your ears and nose?
Bobby jack: It’s to hold my glasses!!!

Women wanted to protest it..

A professor told dirty jokes in class and the women wanted to protest it. So they decided that in the next time that the professor will start with these kind of jokes they all will leave the class as a protest.
Somehow the professor heard about the plan.
In the next lecture, in the beginning of the lecture he said: “In Sweden a pr*stitute makes $2000 per night.”
All the women stood up and started to leave the class. So he shouted after them: “Where are you going? The plane to Sweden doesn’t take off until the day after tomorrow.”

What did Eve say to Adam after?

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me, April, who created the universe?”
When April didn’t stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.
“GOD ALMIGHTY!” shouted April and the teacher said, “Very good” and April fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked April, “Who is our Lord and Savior,” But, April didn’t even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.
“JESUS CHRIST!” shouted April and the teacher said, “very good,” and April fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked April a third question. “What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?” And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.
This time April jumped up and shouted, “IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I’LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ASS!”
The Teacher fainted.

That is when she hit me!

Little Johnny comes home from Sunday school with a black eye.
His father sees it and says,
“Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys?”
“But Dad, it wasn’t my fault. We were all in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of me had her dress in the crack of her butt, I reached over and pulled it out. That’s when she hit me!”
“Johnny,” the father mid. “You don’t do those kind of things to women.”
Sure enough, the very next Sunday Johnny came home with the other eye black and blue.
Johnny’s father mid,
“Johnny, I thought we had a talk!”
“But Dad,” Johnny said, “It wasn’t my fault. There we were in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of us had her dress in the crack of her b.. Then Louie who was sitting next to me saw it and he reached over and pulled it out. Now I know she doesn’t like this, so I pushed it back in!”

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