Archive for the ‘Racist’ Category

A thief catching machine..

Group of scientists invented a thief catching machine..
So they decided to test it in various countries one by one.

Starting with USA.

Caught more than 300 thieves in an hour. They couldn’t be more happier with the results.

Then the group decided to ship their machine to Bangladesh. It worked quite well over there, catching almost twice the amount of thieves caught in USA in an hour.

The group is pretty satisfied with the results but still want to give it one more try. They move the machine to mother Russia expecting more better results.

Within 30 minutes, machine got stolen.

Thank you for allowing me to come to Germany

An African migrant is strolling down a sidewalk in Nuremberg.

He comes up to the first man he sees and says “Thank you, for allowing me to come to Germany. Thank you for giving me health care, and a place to live, and food to eat.”

The man looks at him and says “I’m not German, I’m Albanian.”

The African says “Oh, excuse me” and continues walking.

He walks up to a second man and says “Thank you for allowing me to come to Germany as a refugee. It is a truly beautiful country.”

The second man looks at him and says “I’m not German, I’m Turkish.”

The African goes “Oh, excuse me” and continues walking.

As he’s walking he comes up to a third man. He says “Thank you for allowing me to come to Germany, thank you for everything you’ve done for me.”

The man looks at him and says “I’m not German, I’m Arab.”

Confused, the African asks “Where are all the Germans?”

The Arab looks down at his watch.

“Probably working.”

We invented sex!

A Greek and an Indian were drinking tea one day, discussing who had the superior culture…

The Greek guy says, “Well, we have the Parthenon”.

Arching his eyebrows the Indian replies, “We have the Taj Mahal.”

The Greek retorts, “We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics.” The Indian, nodding in agreement, says, “But we invented the number 0.”

And so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion.

With a flourish of finality he says, “We invented sex!”

The Indian replies, “That is true, but we are the ones who introduced it to women.”

The doctors needed

An Arab sheik was admitted to hospital for heart surgery, but prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to have some of his blood type stored in case the need arose. As the gentleman had an extremely rare type of blood that couldn’t be found locally, the call went out around the world. Finally a Scotsman was located who had the same rare blood type.

After some coaxing, the Scot donated his blood for the Arab. After the surgery the Arab sent the Scotsman a new BMW, a diamond necklace for his wife, and $100,000 in appreciation for the blood donation.

A few months later, the Arab had to undergo a corrective surgery procedure. Once again, his doctor telephoned the Scotsman who this time was more than happy to donate his blood. After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-you card and a box of chocolates. The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab did not reciprocate his kind gesture as he had anticipated. He then phoned the Arab and asked him:
“I thought you would be more generous than that. Last time you sent me a BMW, diamonds and money, but this time you only sent me a lousy thank-you card and a crappy box of chocolates?” To this the Arab replied:
“Aye, laddie, but I now have Scottish blood in me veins.”

No Vacancy

Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg many years ago was stranded late one night at a fashionable resort – one that did not admit Jews. The desk clerk looked down at his book and said, “Sorry, no room. The hotel is full.”

The Jewish lady said, “But your sign says that you have vacancies.”

The desk clerk stammered and then said curtly, “You know that we do not admit Jews. Now if you will try the other side of town…”

Mrs. Rosenberg stiffened noticeable and said, “I’ll have you know I converted to your religion.”

The desk clerk said, “Oh, yeah, let me give you a little test. How was Jesus born?”

Mrs. Rosenberg replied, “He was born to a virgin named Mary in a little town called Bethlehem.”

“Very good,” replied the hotel clerk. “Tell me more.”

Mrs. Rosenberg replied, “He was born in a manger.”

“That’s right,” said the hotel clerk. “And why was he born in a manger?”

Mrs. Rosenberg said loudly, “Because a jerk like you in the hotel wouldn’t give a Jewish lady a room for the night!”

Which baby belonged to which mother

Three women – a German, a Jew and a Pollack – all gave birth
to seven-pound baby boys at the same time. The nurses got
the babies mixed up somehow and couldn’t tell which baby
belonged to which mother. After an hour of mass confusion
the father of the German baby decided he’d settle the
problem. He walked into the nursery and lined up the three
infants in a row. He clicked his heels, raised his arm and
shouted, “Heil Hitler!” The German baby snapped to
attention, the Jewish baby shit, and the Polack baby played
in it.

An Israeli was sitting between two Arabs

An Israeli was sitting between two Arabs on a long airplane
flight. He had just removed his shoes and gotten comfortable
when one of the Arabs nudged him and said,”Hey, Jew, go get
us some orange juice.” To avoid any trouble, the Israeli
did so. When he left, both Arabs spit in his shoes.
The Israeli came back with the juice, which the Arabs
gulped down. The rest of the flight was uneventful. The
plane landed, and the Israeli put on his shoes and felt the
squishing inside. He turned to the Arabs and said,”If there
is ever going to be peace in the Middle East, the Arabs will
have to stop spitting in the shoes of Jews, and the Jews
will have to stop pissing in the Arabs’ orange juice.”

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