Archive for the ‘Office’ Category

Have you ever seen an owl?

An Angry Boss-“Have you ever seen an owl ?”

Employee (Looking down)- “No Sir!!”

Boss- “Why looking downside?”

“Look at me..!”

Do you know who you are talking to?

A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee.

On his first day, he dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone: “Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!”

The voice from the other side responded: “You fool; you’ve dialled the wrong extension! Do you know who you’re talking to?”

“No” replied the trainee.

“It’s the Managing Director of the company, you idiot”

The trainee shouted back: “And do you know who you are talking to, you idiot?”

“No!” replied the Managing Director angrily.

“Thank God!” replied the trainee and kept the phone down

If I keep working just as hard

My boss just bought a brand new Rolls-Royce…

One day… One day, if I keep working just as hard, he’ll be able to buy another one.

The food has names

We have a strange custom in our office. The food has names there.
Yesterday for example I got me a sandwich out of the fridge and its name was
“Michael”

I have got a headache

One day Mr. Smith, the president of a large corporation, called his vice-president, Dave, into his office and said, “We’re making some cutbacks, so either Jack or Barbara will have to be laid off.”

Dave looked at Mr. Smith and said, “Barbara is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and three kids. I don’t know whom to fire.”

The next morning Dave waited for his employees to arrive.

Barbara was the first to come in, so Dave said, “Barbara, I’ve got a problem. You see, I’ve got to lay you or Jack off and I don’t know what to do?”

Barbara replied, “You’d better jack off. I have got a headache.”

Manager told a joke

Manager told a joke. Everyone in the team laughed except one guy…

Manager asks him – “Didn’t you understand my joke????”

The guy replied – “I resigned yesterday”

Were you in the service

A man was being interviewed for a job. “Were you in the service?” asked the interviewer.

“Yes, I was a marine,” responded the applicant.

“Did you see any active duty?”

“I was in Vietnam for 2 years and I have a partial disability.”

“May I ask what happened?”

“Well, I had a grenade go off between my legs and I lost both testicles.”

“You’re hired. You can start Monday at 10 am.”

The man asked, “When does everyone else start? I don’t want any preferential treatment because of my

disability.”

“Everyone else starts at 7 am but I might as well be honest with you. Nothing gets done between 7 and 10.

We just sit around scratching our balls trying to decide what to do first.”

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