Archive for the ‘Food’ Category

Can I have a tooth pick?

Guest: “Excuse me, can I have a tooth pick?”
Waiter: “Unfortunately they are all occupied right now. Can you wait a minute?”

I was keeping it warm!

A married couple go to a restaurant. A blonde waitress takes their order and returns several minutes later, carrying a plate with only a plain hamburger bun on it.

The man asks, “Where’s the burger?”

The waitress lifts her arm and pulls out a burger from her armpit. “I was keeping it warm,” she replies.

The wife says, “Please cancel my hot dog order.”

Why are they so small today?

In Spain, there is a tradition after a bullfight to serve the mayor the bull’s testicles.

One day after a bullfight, the mayor asks the waiter: “Funny, why are they so small today?”

The waiter: “Today, sir, the bull won.”

Do you have onion flavoured ice cream?

One day , The ice cream shop has a visitor , It is a little boy , The shop keeper says “Welcome , You came to the right place for your ice cream needs young man!” The little boy shouts while he is still at the door : “Do you guys have onion flavored ice cream?” , The man is surprised and said: “no ,we don’t sorry” the boy leaves The next day at the same time the boy comes in , The shop keeper out of habit says “Welcome” but he sees that it is the boy and silences him self thinking the boy is mad . The boy says :”Do you have onion flavored ice cream?” The man says :”No , We don’t”.

That keeps going for 2 or 3 weeks until the man thought to himself:”You know , Why don’t i make onion flavored Ice cream for the little guy?” and he stood up all night to make it great . The boy comes the next day , “Welcome” says the shop keeper, The boy says the usual lines :”Do you have onion flavored Ice cream?” the man excitingly says : “Yes we do” the boy then says : “Wow you guys must be retarded , Who would buy that shit”

I wish I had come by before

A man enters a restaurant and orders fish.
The waiter walks by and asks: “Well, what do you think about our restaurant?”
The man: “I wish I had come by before”
The waiter: “He he, why is that?”
The man: “Then your fish might have been fresh…”

He would not eat it either

Guest at a restaurant: “I refuse to eat this roast beef. Please call the manager! “

Waiter: “That’s no use. He won’t eat it either.”

The chef knows how to cook

Husband and wife were having dinner at a fancy restaurant…

As the food was served, Husband said:
“The Food looks delicious, let’s eat.”

Wife: Honey.. You say prayer before eating at home.
Husband: That’s at home sweetheart… Here the chef knows how to cook.

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