Archive for the ‘computer’ Category

My computer has locked up

Caller: Hey, can you help me? My computer has locked up, and no matter how many times I type eleven, it won’t unfreeze.

Agent: What do you mean, “type eleven?”

Caller: The message on my screen says, “Error Type 11!”

I really don not know what is so difficult

I was in a couple’s home trying to fix their Internet connection. ?The husband called out to his wife ?in the other room for the computer password. “Start with a capital S, then 123,” she shouted back.

We tried S123 several times, but ?it didn’t work. So we called the wife in. As she input the password, she muttered, “I really don’t know what’s so difficult about typing Start123.”

You are plugging into my computer

I’m at the library, and for some reason, when I plug my flash drive into the computer, it doesn’t show up. I keep trying, but nothing happens.

As an IT major, I know I can figure this out. So I spend 15 minutes changing settings and inserting and removing the flash drive. Then a girl sitting next to me taps my shoulder and says, “You’re plugging into my computer, not yours.”

Windows is totally frozen

Wife sends a text message to her husband on a really cold winter morning: Windows in totally frozen, will not open.

Husband replies: “Carefully pour some warm water over it and tap the edges first with your hand, if that doesn’t work, then gently with a hammer.”

15 minutes later, the wife texts back: “Oh no, I think the laptop is now totally gone.”

I hacked into your computer

A guy went for an interview at a big IT company for the position of “Computer Hacking Investigator”
The boss asked him: So, what makes you suitable for this job?
Well, he replied, I hacked into your computer and invited myself to this interview.

Perfect Computer Mate

A man was looking for a perfect mate. He
searched on the internet for a program to
find a companion who was short, cute, loves
water sports and joins computer activities.
The answer was sent back to him in an email
message. “Your perfect mate is a – Penguin”.

conversation between a wife and a husband

Starting the day with a conversation between a wife and a husband who happens to be a software engineer.

Husband : (Returning late from work) “Good Evening Dear, I’m now logged in.”

Wife : Have you brought the grocery? Husband : Bad command or filename.

Wife : But I told you in the morning Husband : Erroneous syntax. Abort?

Wife : What about my new TV? Husband : Variable not found …

Wife : At least, give me your Credit Card, I want to do some shopping. Husband : Sharing Violation. Access denied…

Wife : Do you love me or do you only love computers or are you just being funny? Husband : Too many parameters …

Wife : It was a great mistake that I married an idiot like you. Husband : Data type mismatch.

Wife : You are useless. Husband : It’s by Default.

Wife : What about your Salary? Husband : File in use … Try after some time.

Wife : What is my value in the family. Husband : Unknown Virus

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